9 things I should feel guilty about BUT don’t

I read an old article from a site about why you shouldn’t feel guilty about the things that go through your mind as a mother. Here are a few from the post (www.parenting.com) that I loved and a few more additions of my own! Let me know your own thoughts aswell.

 

1. Loving your child, hating the pregnancy journey:

I know mothers who adored every second of pregnancy. I can safely say that I hated about 75% of it. Sure the scans are beautiful, the buying baby things is great, the excitement about names and nurseries is a joy but come on? The glow everyone was discussing, that was just fat forming around my solid jaw line, creeping into my face and seeping out like a disgusting tube of crisco had been implanted under my skin. Those little stretch marks around my ass not just leaving tempestuous scars but serving as a daily reminder that your ass is growing into another zip code, and those hips wont ever fuse closer together. I was sick, violently, 7 times a day until the 20 week mark. I got pee all over my hands trying numerous tests, oh and the grossest one, is what those lady bits go through, the increase in urine infections many women experience or GOD FORBID PILES. I didn’t experience piles, just putting it out there ( although you know its normal and all good luck with that). Ain’t nobody told me when baby sat on a vessel my lady bits were going to swell up so much they would frighten my doctor. YEAH and it stayed that way for four days. four actual days. My doting husband. oh yes, him. Well quite frankly he didn’t like the second pregnancy, crazy hormones demanding and bitching at him, yeah well, you did this to me…..( That’s what it turns into, a blame game, for every little symptom, it’s someone else’s fault. And after my bump got so big, yes it did get rather large. He wasn’t keen on hurting the baby with intercourse, SCREW YOU. hurting the baby, you just didn’t like those newfound glowy changes to my magnificient womans body. I WAS SIZE SEXY YOU ASSHOLE. I waddled around in mostly lycra or spandex or easy fit cotton, or breathable materials. I wore fat pants! k! You happy now. And then the baby was sliced out through my size sexy body and it all got better again. I’m not saying I liked it, because I didn’t it was a necessary evil to bring my beautiful boys into this world.I’m just a little tired of everyone using the magical word about it. RANT OVER. 

2. Tedious child activities.

Okay, the first time you go down the slide is GREAT, the first time you say momma is fantastic. The first time you rolled or crawled or walked is amazing. The tenth time even. But then i’m standing there hoisting you back onto the top of the slide, or you’re in the store yelling mother at me a million times over, or you’re rolling into the walls, or crawling up my tv stand, or the stairs or the drawers, or the bookshelves. You see my dilemma, faking my big wide smile makes me want to hire full time help.

3. Noticing other DILFS

Can’t help it. I have to find something in my mundane baby lifestyle that makes it worth getting up at 7am to get to baby group. Yup, its you there in the corner with the child. come hither. 

4. Having five minutes of silence

Husband comes home, suddenly I need the bathroom, whether it’s to read or to play on some form of technology I am locking myself away until you ask if I am ok. Yes shut up i’m fine i just wanted to enjoy the nothingness, no one watching me urinate, or tugging on my legs or dragging me to MORE MEGABLOCKS. (Worst toys invented, i’m dreading lego). I jokingly suggested a yoga retreat just for me with buddhist monks. Except I am not kidding.

5. Buying expensive children’s clothing to get sick on, or food or milk. BUT they look cool yeah?

6. Buying cheaper baby clothes, but they’re only going to get sick or food or milk on.

7. Taking your child to overly stimulating activities to socialise

Yeah that’s right, toddler group? music class? coordination and sensory groups? uh huh! i’m going to keep a careful eye on my child as i gab away with other mothers. or you know if i am lucky the dilfs.

8. Not having enough faith.

I want to take my children to church, I do. I am a newly spiritual person (I like to party, I like to indulge in some sins from time to time. but the wholesome and so honest way of raising children with manners and morals makes me want to adopt faith as part of our daily lives) But then I don’t have a clue where to start as I wasn’t raised within a faith.

9. Writing this post when I have been cleaning the kitchen for three hours? Yeah i’m going to get around to it ok.

 

Mothers united I say, admit what you do that you know is a little shitty. It’s ok. We’re all doing the same job. Admittedly this post is a little intense, a little over the top and a little ranty and come on? A little brilliant. Say it. Express it. Just admit it! 

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